Even if the men who consult us each have something specific and different as a person, whether in their history, in their personal experiences, in their way of approaching the world, in their way of establishing and maintaining relationships, intimate relationships, in their way of negotiating with conflicting or frustrating situations, it is still possible to observe certain tendencies which characterize them in general.

Indeed, men who behave violently all seem to share a certain emotional immaturity, a significant feeling of inner insecurity, a lack of self-confidence that they try to camouflage at all costs. We notice a great dependence on their partner, a tendency to be very demanding of others, to have difficulty tolerating their feelings of helplessness, etc. Centered on their spouse, they tend to give them the role of ensuring their own well-being and maintaining a positive image of themselves. They therefore attribute to them the cause of their problems, their difficulties and their misfortunes.

The man with violent behavior does not tend to perceive himself as being at the origin of his problems, to have something to do with it in relation to the situation for which he consults. He attributes to others, in this case his partner, a power that he or she does not have and of which he believes he is devoid. He does not want to recognize that he is responsible for himself, his behaviors and their consequences.

He often presents himself to us as the victim of a situation over which he has no control and expects us to solve his problem for him, to provide him with easy solutions in the hope that we can alleviate our suffering at any cost.

We also see that there is more than one dynamic of violence. Although violence often occurs with the aim of controlling others, the paths taken to arrive at the violent act appear to vary from one individual to another. For example, some men systematically control their partners for fear of being controlled and dominated by them and use violence in order to reassert their dominance and superiority. Other men control their partner as well as the relationship in order to ensure the availability of the person who "must" provide them with emotional security and a positive image of themselves.

In this case, violence would occur when the spouse evades their assigned role. Some men tend to place themselves and tolerate one or more frustrating, threatening or humiliating situations for a very long time without even daring to express their discontent and disagreement for fear of losing the love of their partner. Several men demonstrate a dynamic involving a more or less complex mixture of several different dynamics.